More will come later, I promise. For now I just wanted to let everyone know that we're okay and we're still here! Things have been mega stressful and busy lately. I am sure that all of you can relate!
We just got done with a children's musical and adult musical at church, and since we have no children's minister at the present moment, Stephen was in charge of getting Children's Camp up and going this summer. I am telling you, I cannot express with ANY words how HUGE of a feat it was to get all of those campers and sponsers off to camp last week! PLEASE go hug your children's minister and tell them you appreciate all the hard work they do! They do so much that we don't even know about!
Anyway, we thought after we got last week over with that things would slow down around here, but as it so happened, Hope decided it would be a good week to get a nasty stomach virus! Fun times. (WARNING...if you are eating, you might want to put your food down before you go any further. It's going to get kind of graphic.) She's thrown up 4 times today and has had the "runs" (I use this term lightly) on and off. She's had no wet diapers and can't keep anything down. She was even throwing up her juice. Finally I decided tonight to just try and give her little sips of juice at a time and SO FAR she has managed to keep that down. She really didn't want to drink anything today at all, but I managed to coax her by letting her drink from a straw (she loves to drink out of straws). PLEASE pray for us this week. Having a sick kid is hard; having a sick and throwing up kid is excrutiating. I have never cleaned up so much puke in my life.
One last think before I let you go. I just want to ask for your prayers for myself this week. I feel like I'm kind of at a "crossroads" in my life right now. I have applied, been accepted, and even registered for classes at Mississippi State University for the Fall. I want to go back to get my degree in Meteorology. Many of you know that I have a huge passion for the weather and I would really LOVE to do it as a career. However, we are kind of waffling back and forth on whether I should go or not. Our first and probably biggest issue is that I really don't want my family to suffer emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or financially because I chose to go to school. The classes are all on-line, but I know it would take away from my time with family and to me that is an even bigger thing than my desire to go to school.
Secondly, and most importantly is my heart in all of this. I feel like a part of me is looking to this program and a career in meteorology to sort of "give me identity." I've always felt like I really don't do anything special that sets me apart and this would "help" my issue. I know this is wrong of me to think, and I know that my identity should not be wrapped up in what I DO, rather it should be about who I am in Christ. But what does that really look like for a ministry-minded stay-at-home wife and mom?
Our third obstacle is, of course the money issue. I will need to find a job or something in order to go to school and this will take more time away from family and church. The program is $13,000. The school is really pushing me to get loans, but we feel very convicted that we should not do that. We have been working very hard to get out of debt, not to mention that we already have upwards of $30,000 in school loans combined. Adding to that total would just be taking one huge step backwards.
One part of me feels like this is a passion that God gave me and wouldn't God want me to pursue a passion that He Himself gave me? But then another part of me asks, well how could I glorify God in the field of meteorology? The field doesn't exactly call for in-depth Bible study and long periods of deep, theological discussion. But what a better way to bring glory to God than to study the "hugeness" of His creation and remember that He is ultimately in control of all of those things? Sorry for all the confusion. I just want to glorify God in what I do and I want to have peace whether I do this or not. Part of me really really wants to pursue a lifelong, God-given passion. But another part of me feels like it's just not the right time. We just don't know what to do about all this. Stephen has been so supportive and I know he would love to see me do this, but it just doesn't look like it's the right timing, and that makes me kind of sad. I really don't have another shot at this. I have already applied and not attended once. I can't do that again. Give me your thoughts, and if not, just your prayers would be nice. We love you all and thank you for your love and support. Pics of Hope will come soon!!!
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2 comments:
Paige, I will most definitely pray for you!
My advise is to continue praying and to ask God to quite your heart so you can hear Him. Waiting on the Lord isn't always easy, and some times I think it's one of the hardest things we, as humans, have the most trouble with. We're so used to getting what we want when we want it that it's hard to set aside what we desire most and listen for God's direction.
If you feel it isn't the right time to be doing this, then don't do it and pray. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." David knew from experience what it meant to wait for the Lord. He had been anointed king at age 16, but didn't become king until he was 30. During the interim, he was chased through the desert by jealous king Saul. David had to wait on God for the fulfillment of his promise to reign. Later, after becoming king, he was chased by his rebellious son, Absalom.
Waiting for God is not easy. Often it seems that he isn't answering our prayers or doesn't understand the urgency of our situation. That kind of thinking implies that God is not in control or is not fair. But God is worth waiting for. Lamentations 3:24-26 calls us to hope in and wait for the Lord because often God uses waiting to refresh, renew, and teach us. Make good use of your waiting times by discovering what God may be trying to teach you in them.
My heart feels for you, Paige. I had been struggling with the desires of my heart a few months ago when the Lord showed me Psalm 27:14 during my quiet time with Him. Believe me, I'm not a patient person, and waiting has been hard. But the things the Lord has shown me in my waiting for Him there was something else He wanted me to do now. Something that glorifies Him and that benefits His kingdom. I still have those desires but I know the Lord will bring about the right timing for them.
I hope I didn't come across too strongly. I just wanted to share with you what I've learned, and hopefully it'll help you.
I love you, my sister in Christ! I will be praying. Please keep us updated on this.
God be with you,
Jennifer ><>
Wow, tough issues here. I've been feeling a twinge of the same thing, now that Moira's starting school and Ian's of preschool age - to get a job or not? It would take me away from the family more, and that's my first priority, but it would help us out of debt and to be more comfortable, now that we're on a much tighter budget.
I'll keep you in my prayers, all of you, that God would make His will known and that you'd have peace about it.
Much love to you!
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